Welcome to Dr. [BLANK]'s office, please take a seat.

So...a friend of mine wrote a blog post the other day about a recent trip to the doctors office that almost any of us can identify with. It got me so heated I have to vent about it myself. This is an area with the worst set of office policies and accountability that I have ever seen and really makes a statement about the "health" of the system we use.

In future generations the terms HMO and PPO will be ticket offenses and history books will be rewritten to stamp out the very mention of them to preserve peace for future... Dramatic? Well whoever thought up an HMO has obviously never had to use one and can probably afford private home care from a physician on retainer.

One of the things that I find so aggravating about this is that now "we" have become the "enemy." I called a doctor's office once to let them know that I was running late and did not know if I would make it in time - but that I was coming - due to an accident on the road. Why? Because it is courteous. Well I was penalized for this courtesy as I had to wait an additional hour to see the doctor, no one told me anything, I just waited... and waited... Finally I stood up and went to the window to complain and the "office administrator" (they do not even sound like humans anymore, G.B. Carlin...) informed me casually, "Well what do you expect, you were late."

When I explained s l o w l y that even though I had called to let them know I was running late I still arrived 10 minutes before my scheduled appointment time, never mind the fact that I had never been seen before 20 minutes after the scheduled time, and had waited through TWO patients with appointments after mine. She said, "But you were late."

Another doctor's office had me wait through a nurses personal phone call and lunch break at her desk - 2 hours after my scheduled "nurse" appointment. When I complained to the front desk I was told that she had gone for the day and that I would need to reschedule my appointment for a later date. Did I mention the nurse was watching the exchange the whole time? Oh, and smiling. I stayed in that office an additional two hours to talk to the managing doctor about the situation and how rude they had been. She stated that she did not believe me because that "just doesn't sound like my girls."

And, since I have already started, there was an OB/GYN office that I used to go to and I once made an appointment for 8AM. I had planned to go to work after since I did not need to be in the office till 9:15AM. I walked in the office at 7:45 and saw 2 other women sitting there. Another walked in while I was waiting. So that is three (3) other women, four (4) including myself. I asked the clerk if there was another doctor on that day and was informed that "No, only him." We were all called within 5 minutes of each other and sent to our respective "rooms," I was called last, which were cold as hell... and asked to put on a tissue paper robe. At 8:50AM I had still not seen the doctor. I took off my robe and got dressed. I went out to the main desk to complain and the girl at the front desk, bless her, looked like she was going to flinch. I asked her what the problem was and why I had not been able to see the doctor yet. She apologized and told me the doctor would be with me as soon as possible but that he was with another patient. I asked her how that was possible since I had called and was told that 8AM was the first appointment she shrugged and said "I'm sorry."

While I was talking to her my doctor rounded the corner and said "What, you aren't staying for your appointment?" I lost it. I yelled that my appointment had been at 8AM and that I had specifically asked if it was the first one so I would not be late to work and arrived early so I did not set back his schedule for the day and that NOW I had to go to work... a full hour PAST my appointment time, not that he gave a shit, because his time was SO much more valuable than mine. He shrugged and turned away from me handing someone else some files and walked away. But after he walked away the girl at the counter gave me a quiet golf clap and said "Good for you!"

The last one I will share with you is when I was pregnant with my first child. Actually no... that one is too personal for this venue... maybe another time. Suffice it to say that I have since learned the name for my encounter has been dubbed, recently, as "Medi-wife" or "Medwife." This term is used now to identify nurse practitioners who are registered nurse midwives. There have been studies on this group of women and they show that they perform more unnecessary risks and surgeries on laboring women than other midwives and even Ob/Gyn doctors themselves. I think it is safe to assume that they have gotten a little taste of the "God" complex so many doctors are accused of... STAT!!!!